It was Superbowl Sunday 1996, and I was in Sacramento, California waiting for a bus back home. I had a few hours to wait, so I decided to stroll around the downtown area to check things out. About a block or so away from the bus depot, is the Capitol Building, and for whatever reason, I headed that way.
As I approached the Capitol grounds, I could see the Vietnam Veterans Memorial for California. I had heard about this memorial from a friend a few years back, and he told me what a beautiful tribute it was to the many that had paid the Ultimate Price from this state. I never had the opportunity before now to visit this memorial, so now was as good a time as ever to see the name of a friend that I ran around with in northern California many years ago.
The last time I saw my friend, wasn't long before the tragic news of his fate while he was home on leave for just a couple of days. His loss, became my first direct experience of Vietnam, and it left me with real questions about what that war, or conflict, (whatever you choose to call it) was really all about.
As I entered the memorial, the strangest feeling started coming over me and I had no idea what was happening. The more I moved towards the memorial, the stronger these feelings became, and I was now becoming real concerned that something terrible was about to happen.
I noticed that the sidewalk was the country of Vietnam laid in a black stone, and I thought out loud how fitting the color was that represented such a dark period in our Nations history, and a time that has brought so much change to our country and the world since.
Walking behind me was an elderly couple from Canada, and I overheard the gentleman say something to his wife about the eerie feeling he was having, so I took a few minutes to talk with them just to assure myself that I was not imagining the feelings I was having also.
While I was entering the small rotunda, I noticed some fresh roses leaning against a wall and a most pleasant thought came to me. With the many years that have passed since the ending of this long battle, there are so many people that take the time to visit memorials like this all over our country to remember and show their appreciation to the many who have paid the Supreme Sacrifice for our liberties we enjoy as Americans.
I walked through to the outside panels that hold the names of those who have fallen, and I was truly shocked at the amount of names just from this one state alone. I can only imagine what the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington D.C. looks like.
I asked myself how I was going to find his name among so many, because I noticed that the names were really not in any particular order, when suddenly I became uncontrollably emotional, and I felt like my legs were going to fall out from under me. I had to sit down before I fell, and I bent over placing my face in my hands crying like a little baby trying to understand what the hell was happening to me. I knew I was over his loss many years ago, but for whatever reason, these emotions and feelings just wouldn't stop.
A few moments had passed when I felt someone put a hand on my shoulder, and I heard a voice ask me if I was alright. I looked up at a man a little younger than myself standing on the side of me with his wife and teenage son. I told him I thought I was ok, but I just didn't know or understand what was happening to me. They spent a little time talking with me about my friend, the Memorial and Vietnam, before they decided to leave. I do believe they stayed long enough to make sure that I was alright.
As they left, those emotions and feelings started up again, but this time I buried my face to hide the embarrassment from anyone else who may see me. I asked myself again how I was going to find his name among so many, when I sat back up to clear my vision and wipe the tears from my eyes, when there it was, all I could see was only one thing, my friends name. It wasn't the name above it, below it, or the name on either side of it, there was only his name that was staring back at me. Now, I am sure you can understand why I was completely shocked and absolutely speechless. Those feelings and emotions I had been having, were now suddenly gone as fast as they came.
So now my friends, if you are wondering, "YES," I truly do believe that he helped me find his name. I have asked myself so many times over and over again, with all those names on the panels, how was it that I became so emotional and weak in the legs, that I sat down in that one particular place to see only his name among the other 5,822.